Total Lunar Eclipse August 28, 2007 Hawaii

日期圖片

Upgrade From Boyfriend To Husband

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

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Reply: Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind: Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1. Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support

大自然給的寧靜

測測你前世是幹什麼的人

你的公元出生年月日加起來 　　
例如：1975.2.20出生的人就是1+9+7+5+0+2+2+0=26 　　
這時出來的數字如果是一位數以上的話再相加(如果相加之後還是一位數以上的話.就再相加.直到變成一位數) 例如：先前出來的是26 那就是2+6=8 　　
將出來的數字對照下面的表就可以得知你上輩子是什麼嚕 　　

1 代表你上輩子是皇宮貴族
2 代表你上輩子是非漢人(特方面的習慣會跟身邊的人不太一樣)
3 代表你上輩子是有錢人
4 代表你上輩子是讀書人
5 表示你上輩子是武將
6 表示你上輩子是非人類
7 表示你上輩子是三級貧戶
8 表示你上輩子是優(特徵：肢體動作豐富.具表演天分)
9 表示你上輩子是 出家人

大家測完了要將結果貼出來!

美麗的夕陽圖

太陽到底有多大？

先看看地球有多大

再來看看九大行星有多大

最後看看太陽老大有多大

[I.Q. 題]

1. 人在激動或興奮時,身體的你哪個部位會膨脹十倍?

答案[CTRL + A]
瞳孔 想歪的打屁屁 >0<

2. 為什麼劉小姐堅持結婚以後不跟丈夫姓？

答案[CTRL + A]
他的先生姓夏(這樣就變成下流小姐)

3. 什麼一種用品，買的人知，賣的人知，但用的人不知？

答案[CTRL + A]
棺材

4. 有翼不會飛，但是會吸血的是什麼？

答案[CTRL + A]
衛生巾

5. 避孕藥的主要成份是什麼？

答案[CTRL + A]
抗生素

洗澡

亞祥：亞彬，這十多年來，你認為自己最窮是何時？
亞彬：洗澡時。
亞祥：為甚麼？
亞彬：因為洗澡時，我總是赤條條一無所有的。

Gorilla Control

A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because there is a crazed gorilla on his roof, and he can't figure out how to get it down safely. Soon, a van pulls up, and an old man gets out, carrying a small dog, a baseball bat, and a gun. He hands the man the gun."Okay, here's what we do. I'm going to go up onto your roof, and threaten the gorilla with this baseball bat until he falls down. When he falls down, this little dog will bite him in the balls until he's incapacitated.""Great," says the man. "But what's the gun for?""In case I fall down instead of the gorilla -- shoot the dog."

I Like Your Thinking

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. "None, they all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is one dead bird, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."

急口令

1. 入實驗室，禁緊緊急掣。

2. 三蚊一隻雞，七蚊一隻龜，到底雞貴過龜，定係龜貴雞。

3. 挽住魚腸，去見姨丈，見倒姨丈，放下魚腸，叫聲姨丈，挽翻魚腸，拜拜姨丈。

4. 村前有個崔粗腿，村後有個崔腿粗，你估崔粗腿對腿粗，定係崔腿粗對腿粗。

5. 指甲容易藏污垢，手腳污糟確係醜，飯前飯後要洗手，早晚記得要漱口。

6. 鮮蝦餃、蟹皇蒸燒賣、西菜牛肉球、豉汁蒸肉排、 蠔皇义燒飽、腊味蘿蔔糕、鳳腊臘腸卷、魚趐灌湯餃、香麻义燒酥、生炒糯米飯、八珍糯米雞 、五香紙包雞、蟹肉小籠飽、鮮肉蒸窩貼、荳沙煎窩餅、特製麻蓉飽、蛋黃蓮蓉飽、欖仁馬拉糕、爵士奶皇飽、鮮蝦銀針粉....

7. 考試並非最重要，認真學習更緊要，別說上課才用功，課堂以外便輕鬆 ；國際事，要知曉，家庭事，多照料；良朋盡可作吾師，缺點則應齊戒掉，留心觀察虛心學，一生收獲定不少。

8. 霍、莫、駱、郭四老伯，踱到北角買菱角，買得菱角閣上剝；剝菱角、吃菱角、各剝各、各吃各、菱角殼，堆滿牆角落；刺破了霍、莫、駱、郭四老伯的腳，碰到了霍、莫、駱、郭四老伯的膞。

9. 紅黃方糖紅方糖、黃方糖，紅黃方糖雙方糖；紅方糖，放紅糖；黃方糖，放黃糖，方糖放糖分紅黃。

10. 我和鵝我是我，鵝是鵝；我不是鵝，鵝不是我。鵝肚餓，我餵鵝；我愛鵝，鵝親我。